Teens - Dating Violence
Teen Safety Plans
The following two safety plans are designed to help you when you are in an unsafe relationship. Remember - only you know when it is safe to leave your relationship.
Safety Plan for Breaking Up and Safety Plan
If you have decided to break up with an abusive partner it is important to have a well planned safety plan before attempting to end the relationship.
Sometimes the breakup period is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship.
Safety Plan For Breaking Up:
- I will plan the breakup carefully with the help of people I trust. If I don’t have friends I can trust, I can talk to a trusted teacher or adult or call my local abuse hotline. The more people who know what’s going on and the more people who can look out for me and support me – the safer I am.
- Getting an order of protection is an option if I think I might be in further danger. It is not a guarantee of safety, but is a legal court order that says my ex-partner must stay away from me and can be arrested if he/she does not. I can call Hands of Hope, or the local court or police department for assistance.
- It is not safe to break up with my partner in an isolated place. I will try to do it in public with people near who are part of my safety plan. If necessary, I will do it by phone or letter.
- I will be very clear with my partner that I am ending the relationship and that my decision is non-negotiable.
- will try to be prepared for my partner’s reaction. It could be violent, or my partner may be very sad and cry, or may try to be very sweet and win me back.
- After breaking up, I will avoid being alone with my ex-partner or being in a situation where s/he might try to corner near me or “talk me out of” the break-up.
No one deserves to be abused. This is not my fault.
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If you have decided to stay in a relationship that has been violent in the past, chances are it will happen again – even if your partner has promised that it won’t. While it’s hard to think about, for your own safety, it’s important to be prepared just in case. Remember, you do not have any control over your partner’s behavior (physical violence or emotional abuse). You do, however, have control over how you prepare for it and respond to it. Take a few minutes to answer these questions and prepare your safety plan.
- These are the ‘cues’ I have seen in the past before my partner has been violent: When I see these things in the future I will know it is time to take action to keep myself safe:
- These are some things that have kept me safe in the past:
- These are some things that I tried that didn’t keep me safe. I will know not to rely on these things in the future.
- If I know there is going to be an argument, I will try to go to a place where other people might here and/or a place where there is less risk of injury (avoid kitchens, bathrooms, garage, anywhere near weapons or without an exit).
- These are some people I can call for help:
- This is a code word I can use to let people know I’m scared or need help:
- These are some safe places for me to go if I’m not feeling safe:
Click here if you'd like to print out this Safety Plan as a .pdf
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