Teens - Date/Acquaintance Rape

Red Flags for Potential Rape and Violence

In A Party Setting:

• Parties without any adult supervision
• Parties that include the use of drugs and alcohol
• Number of males and females are not balanced
• Someone pushing you to drink more
• Party goes are becoming out of control
• You are suddenly very woozy – possible date rape drug ingestion

In a Relationship:

• Uncontrollable expressions of anger. Becomes angry or violent easily. Be aware of a potential dates temper. How do they manage their anger/temper? What role model has he or she had?
• Pressures you to drink or to drink more alcohol than you want.
• Criticizes what you do, what you where, and your friends (avoid dating someone who does not accept you for you!)
• Calls you names such as “fat, ugly, lazy or stupid.”
• Does not listen to what you want to do. Be wary of someone who insists on doing things that make you uncomfortable or that you do not agree with (i.e. sex, pornography, drugs, etc.)
•  Controls your body in small ways: holds you too tight, pulls you around by the hand, ignores it when you pull away, and invades your body space.
• Extreme jealousy. This may be expressed by his or her needing to know where you are at all times.
• Degrades your sex with jokes or shows interest in others to upset you.
• Threatens to physically hurt you or someone you care about.
• Emotionally or physically harms you.

Protecting Yourself

In a Party Setting:

• Set limits. Decide what you want before you are in a dating party situation. What are willing or not willing to do physically? How far is to far? How far is enough? What is too much?
• Get to know your date before being alone with him or her. When dating someone new go out in a group a few times.
• Tell someone where you are going and what time you will be home. Call if your plans change.
• Trust you gut instincts. If you are uncomfortable, afraid, confused, it could be that there is a good reason why you feel that way.
• Be clear in your communication. Avoid mixed messages. Say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. Be sure your verbal messages, body language and behavior match. Tell your date what your limits are.
• Be assertive. Say what you mean with conviction. Be firm. Move away when you are uncomfortable.
• Be knowledgeable about the use of date rape drugs- alcohol, rohypnol, and other drugs. Get your own food/drinks and do not leave them unattended.
• Do not abuse alcohol. Consider avoiding parties where you know drugs and alcohol will be used. Be aware that alcohol and drugs are often related to acquaintance rape.
• Ask for help! If something doesn’t feel right, asking for help is a good idea. It is not a sign of weakness.

At Home:

• If something seems strange when you enter your home (unlocked door that was previously locked) go for help.
• Be aware of common household objects that you could use to protect yourself- pictures, CD cases, pepper, pots and pans, etc.
• Be careful about inviting someone into your home when you are alone, especially if you don’t know them well.
• Have telephones preprogrammed to 911.
• Keep a light/radio on while you are out. Maintain well-lit entrances.

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