Children and Teens Program

What is Child Abuse?

Advocacy services for children and/or teens

How common is this? - local and national statistics

What help can Hands of Hope give?

Healthy Relationships for teens

Teen Dating Issues

Harassment

Parenting Information

Safety planning for children/teens

Effects of sexual assault on children

Effects of domestic violence on children
Help for parents of victims

What about emotional abuse?

How Can I Tell If a Child Is Being Physically Abused?

How Can I Tell If a Child Is Being Neglected?

HOW DOES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AFFECT CHILDREN?
Children that have been exposed to domestic violence are affected by their experience. Each child will manifest the effects in their own way. What follows is a description of how children may be impacted.

EMOTIONALLY

Guilt -- feeling responsible for the abuse.
Shame/embarrassment -- feeling like this doesn't happen to their friends.
Fear -- of what might happen if they talk about what's happened, never knowing what to do or what to expect from the abusive parent.
Confusion -- about what happened, conflicting loyalties between parents.
Anger -- about the abuse, about the chaos, etc.

BEHAVIORALLY

Regressive behaviors -- usually to infantile stage
Aggressive
Passive
Chaotic behaviors -- hard to set limits
Rigid defenses -- aloof, sarcastic, rigid, blaming, defensive
Caretaking -- usually of one parent, becomes a mother figure
Extreme obedience and compliance

PHYSICALLY

Somatic complaints -- headaches, body aches, stomach aches
Frequently ill with colds, flu, and other viruses
Nervous, anxious -- short attention span (seems hyper-active)
Tired and lethargic frequently
Neglectful of personal hygiene

SOCIALLY

Isolated -- without friends or distance themselves from friends

Difficulty trusting others

Poor conflict-resolution skills

May act out same dynamics of home with their peers

Relationships may start intensely and end abruptly

COGNITIVELY (Children have learned to)

Feel responsible for the abuse if they are the victim

Blame others for their behavior if they are the perpetrator

It's okay to hit someone when they want something

To not ask for what they need out of fear of what might happen to them.

Behaviors of Children Exposed to Domestic Violence

Children from battering homes may exhibit:

a combination of limited tolerance and poor impulse control
depression -- a sense that there is no solution and no way out
economic and emotional dependency -- high risk for chemical use, sexual acting out, running away
martyr-like, long suffering
absences from school due to stress
pre-delinquent and delinquent behavior
shaky definition of self
low self-esteem -- sees few opportunities to succeed
social isolation -- little or no interaction with peers
complete identification with peers
bargaining behavior
increased deceptiveness -- lying, cheating, stealing, excuses
poor definition of boundaries for themselves and others
blaming others for their behavior
little or no understanding of the dynamics of violence
pecking order of abuse -- kills animals, abuses younger siblings
self-blame for family feuding, separation, divorce
uses violence as a problem-solving technique
poor sexual image -- uncertain of appropriate behavior
immaturity in peer relationships
heightened suicide attempts
thoughts of doing away with abusive parent

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