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Children and Teens Program
PARENTING INFORMATION
Dealing with an Angry Child -
Alternatives to Spanking -
Positive Parenting
Alternatives to Spanking
Constructive Praise -- Praise a specific behavior and tell how it affected others
in a positive way.
Timer -- "Soon" is far too nebulous for a child to comprehend, but the sound of a
bell or buzzer is finite and avoids the constant whining of, "Is it time, yet?"
Know Their Limits -- Many conflicts can be avoided by simply realizing that
children are capable of only so much. It may be better to just put off the shopping trip until
the children are rested and fed. If the trip is essential, be sensitive to the plight of a
tired, hungry, or frustrated child.
Give Choices -- Adults have a responsibility to provide guidance to children, but
allowing them to make some of their own decisions teaches them responsibility and builds self-esteem.
Children must be cleaned, but they can decide whether they want a bubble bath, plain bath, or
shower.
Decide Family Rules Together -- Allowing children to help decide what should be
forbidden in the house helps them see why rules are made and improves their ability to make
decisions about their own behavior. It is usually fairly easy to get children to agree to "No
hurting others" or something similar.
Redirection -- Sometimes a child can be deterred from misbehavior by suggesting an
alternative activity.
Show Respect -- Children learn to be respectful when treated respectfully. To
avoid having children who scream "shut up" when they're angry, don't ever scream "shut up" at
them.
Avoid Vague Commands and Requests -- Telling a child to "be good" gives no real
information. Saying, "Please sit in this chair until we are finished eating," does.
Constructive Criticism -- Point out an undesirable behavior, tell how it affects
others, provide an alternative behavior, and acknowledge when the child remembers to behave
appropriately.
Planned Discussions -- Planned discussions take place away from the heat of the
moment and allow a greater exchange of information. Follow the steps for a constructive
criticism and always end with a hearty, "I know you can do it!"
Time Out -- Although time out avoids the violence of spanking, it is still a
punishment and should be used sparingly. Occasionally, time out is a healthy way for frustrated
parents to avoid becoming abusers. It never hurts to say, "Daddy needs some time out." Put the
child in an uninteresting place for no more than one minute for each year of the child's age.
The time out spot should not be frightening to the child (a locked or dark closet, for example,
would be a bad choice).
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Sexual Assault
>Children & Teens
Teen Web Pages
Domestic Violence
General Crime
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