Children and Teens Program

In a healthy relationship each friend enters in with an honest commitment. This requires personal time, effort, and energy from both sides. Each person needs to be open, trusting, assertive, and honest with the other. When differences arise, the two people effectively communicate through talking, disagreeing, and listening to one another's viewpoints and feelings. If anger surfaces, the individuals know how t o calm down in order to avoid violent actions and to prevent anyone from being hurt. This is the route to discussing fair ways of compromise and solving conflicts maturely.

When two people are building a relationship, it is important that each person maintains his/her own self-esteem. Each person feels good about him/herself. Further, there is a balance between togetherness (we) and separateness (I). Both people understand the difference between "me," and "we". Therefore, it is essential that the individuals continue to enjoy personal interests and extra-curricular activities. Each person should have the opportunity to establish and appreciate relationships with other friends as well. One can become so entwined in the idea of a relationship -- so involved in a boyfriend/girlfriend's life -- that that person's identity gradually fades away. An individual should not rely entirely on the other person for his or her own happiness. When a person does become dependent on another for the sake of finding happiness, both parties should consider the path of the relationship. It could be taking an addictive turn. Addictive relationships are not healthy; they may even become dangerous. Danger can lead to violence...

Healthy relationships can help us feel valued; yet, they require great patience, nurture, and dedication. In order for a relationship to remain healthy, each individual must want to know the other and be known. Communication is a primary element throughout the journey of the relationship. Self-esteem of both individuals is continually built up, not brought down. Separate identities are kept while the couple shares pieces of each other's lives. Two special friends learn to appreciate one another's unique identities and celebrate the partnership they have.

Sources:
In Love & In Danger by Barrie Levy;
It's Not Okay Anymore by Enns & Black

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