A woman may stay in an abusive relationship for many different
reasons. Following are some reasons but perhaps a better question might be, "Why do men batter and why does
society allow it to continue?" This correctly transfers the responsibility for the abuse to the batterer instead of the victim.
1) For the children: Women may believe that any father
is better than no father at all. She may fear losing custody
of her children or emotional or physical harm to her children
if she tries to leave.
2) For financial reasons: She may have no financial resources,
access to the resources or job skills. If she has children,
it becomes more difficult to leave with having the ability to
get affordable housing, transportation, etc.
3) Fear of retaliation: When a woman makes a decision
to leave an abusive relationship, her chances of being seriously
physically hurt or killed increase 75%. Many times she has
been told by her partmer that if she leaves, her partner will
hunt her down and kill her and the children.
4) Religious reasons: Many times a woman will stay in
a relationship because of religious beliefs. If she leaves or
divorces her partner, her religious community may ostracize
her.
5) Family pressure: She may stay because of family pressure.
Her partner may have convinced her family that everything is
good in their relationship, that problems are her fault. It
may also be that her family of origin also has experienced violence
-- so it may be considered a normal part of relationships. She
may hear things such as "You've made your bed now lie in it"
or "We've never had a divorce in our family."
6) Love: Many times a woman does not want the relationship
to end. She loves her partner; she just wants the violence to
end. She may believe that her love can change her partner's
behavior.
7) Age: Older women may be less likely to take steps
to leave an abusive relationship. Violence may have gone on
throughout the relationship. She may have kept the violence
secret or hidden. she's less likely to be able to start over.
She may feel isolated from family/friends.
8) Isolation: A woman may not have support from friends
and family or she may be alone.
9) Shame: She may feel shame about being abused and reluctant
to let anyone know that abuse is occurring in her relationship.
10) Fear of the system: A woman may not know who to turn
to for help. She may fear the court system or may have had a
bad experience with the police or others she has reached out
to in the past. She may have heard stories of system failures,
such as failed restraining orders resulting in murder.
