Domestic Violence Program

• If an argument seems unavoidable, try to move to a room or area that has access to an exit. Avoid the bathroom, kitchen or anywhere near weapons.
• Tell kids to go to a safe place if a fight starts.
• Practice getting out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, or stairs would be best.
• Hide extra car keys in an accessible place.
• Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming form your home.
• Devise a code word or name to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police. Periodically remind these people of the code. Never joke about your code.
• Decide and plan where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to). Safehome options are available through Hands of Hope 24 hours a day by calling the Todd County Office at 1-800-682-4547 or the Morrison County Office at (320)632-4878 or toll-free 1-888-454-4878.
• Use your own instincts and judgement. Do what you feel you need to do to be safe. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger. Trust your instincts.
• Always remember - YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HIT OR THREATENED!

 

• Open a savings account in your own name and establish other ways to increase your independence. Tell bank not to send statements.
• Get your own post office box.
• Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents and extra clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.
• Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.
• Memorize or keep Hands of Hope crisis numbers -- 1-800-682-4547 (Todd County) (320)632-4878 or 1-888-454-4878 (Morrison county) -- close at hand and keep some change on you at all times for emergency phone calls.
• Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer. Remember - leaving your batterer is the most dangerous time.

• Change locks on your doors as soon as possible. Buy locks or devices to secure windows.
• Discuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them.
• Inform your children's school, day care, or inhome babysitter about who has permission to pick up your children. Give school or day care a copy of your OFP (but not your affidavit).
• Inform neighbors and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see him near your home.
• Don't leave keys in your car.
• Remove spare key from family hiding place.

• Keep your OFP with you at all times.
• Call the police if your partner violates your OFP in any way. Make sure police know directions to your rural address. If you have a fire number, know it.
• Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police are not able to respond right away.
• Inform family, friends, and neighbors about your OFP.

• Choose a co-worker to inform of your situation. This should include office or building security (provide a picture of your batterer if possible). Give supervisor a copy of your OFP (but not the affidavit).
• If possible, have someone screen your phone calls.
• Devise a safety plan for leaving work. Have someone walk you to your car. Use different routes to go home. Think about what you would do if something happened while going home.

• If you have to communicate with your former partner, determine the safest way to do so.
• Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.
• Read books, articles, and poems to feel stronger.
• Decide who you can talk openly with to give you the support you need. Build your support system.
• Plan to attend a domestic violence support group for a least 3 sessions to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship.
• If you are thinking of returning to your abuser, prepare a new safety plan with someone you trust.
• If you have returned to an abusive partner and need help again, please do not hesitate to contact an advocate with Hands of Hope. You will be welcomed.

• Decide which friend, teacher, relative or police officer you can tell.
• Contact an advocate at Hands of Hope Resource Center to find out how to obtain a restraining order and make a safety plan.

Checklist - What You May Need to Take When You Leave

____   Driver's license or other identification
____   Social security cards for you and your children
____   Children's & your birth certificate
____   Money
____   Lease, rental agreement, house deed
____   Checkboods & bank statements
____   Insurance papers
____   House and car keys
____   Medications
____   Address book
____   Pictures
____   Medical records for all family members
____   Children's immunization records
____   School records
____   Work permits
____   Green card
____   Passport
____   Divorce papers
____   Personal items you value (i.e. jewelry)
____   Children's small toys
____   Last year's tax return
____   Other

FOR HELP WITH SAFETY PLAN, SUPPORT SYSTEMS, LEGAL RIGHTS, & OPTIONS CONTACT THE HANDS OF HOPE RESOURCE CENTER

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